Bleach One Shots: The early mistakes
by Zeoniu Zekial Kal Leos
Summary: A short series of hopefully amusing one shots, detailing how things might have gone a little differently from what we know and love. This story is not meant to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form.
1. Chapter 1

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take One: Well, they had to show up sometime.

Ichigo faced Rukia, an apparent Shinigami, and the one holding his families life in her hands as a monstrous creature she had called a Hollow rampaged nearby and tore his house apart.

"Are you sure?" Rukia asked in a strained voice. Ichigos face settled into a resolved grimace as he nodded his head.

Adjusting her aim, she prepared to slam the tip of her zanpakutou into his body and allow him to temporarily take on Shinigami powers of his own.

She never got the chance as five figures wearing various masks appeared.

One caught the end of her blade just before it could penetrait Ichigo, and gave a low tsk-tsk of disapproval. "Come now, Shinigami, turning a human?" the males voice had a teasing tone to it as he spoke, as though amused at the situation

he had just interupted.

While that was going on, the others had vanished into the house. The occasional grunting or low growl escaped before being silenced, and within seconds the foursome trotted out.

"Bagged 'em. Hachis barriers prevented any further damage." the tallest of them spoke up. The one beside Rukia and Ichigo nodded his head, smiled beneath his mask, and said "See you around." just before he raised a small device that could wipe away human memories and activated it.

"Or not." using the art of shunpo, or flash step to vanish just as quickly as they came, the five were gone. And Ichigo was left staring blankly ahead, mind fuzzy. By the time he came back to reality, Rukia was limping some distance away.

Shaking his head and wondering what he was doing out here, Ichigo turned back towards his house and froze up at the sight of the damage done to it, his jaw dropping. He stared at it for several seconds before glancing back at the dark shaped figure retreating into the distance, and realized he had just been robbed.

"DAMN IT, GET BACK HERE!" he shouted.


	2. Chapter 2

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Two: Quincy archer versus Shinigami swordswinger.

Uryuu Ishida could be considered quiet and softspoken, but also fiercely dedicated to something he got started on. He had a certain stubborn sense of pride, as well.

Recently he had activated an item that would draw in hollows by the bucketfull, and he was waiting to defeat the local Shinigami, Ichigo Kurosaki. Which he obviously would, of course.

_If only any of the damn things would show up. _Uryuu thought with a frown. For the last hour or so he had been waiting, first vigilantly, but now with a slight slump in his stance and a look of furious confusion on his face over why the item had so obviously failed to draw in even a single Hollow.

He hadn't felt a single shred of reiatsu in the area that wasn't there to begin with, and to be honest it was infuriating him.

After two hours and no results he began wandering around Karakura town to find out if, perhaps, one or two had somehow managed to enter when he wasn't fully paying attention. If so he would slay it well before the Shinigami could!

--bbbbbbb--

From some distance away on top of a hospital, Isshin Kurosaki and Ryūken Ishida watched their sons wander aimlessly through town. Both men were dressed casually, though only Ryūken was smoking. "So, do you think he's finally starting to understand you replaced it with a fake?" Isshin asked with amusement in his voice.

A/N: Thanks X-elemental! I'll definitely be putting that idea to use in an up-coming chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Three: Here lies Ichigo Kurosaki.

With a grunt Ichigos soul was slammed free of his body, which collapsed face down on the ground with a resounding thump. The orange haired teen winched in sympathy for the pain he would soon be feeling in it and, with Rukias help, managed to drag his body behind a near by dumpster.

Surely the smell of the area alone would be enough to repel anyone who would come near here!

With that worry dealt with, he set out to take care of the latest Hollow to rear its ugly head.

It was only two minutes later that a man out for a jog through the streets approached the dumpster to drop his empty water bottle in and noticed a foot hanging around the side teasingly, as though daring him to take notice of it.

Said man quickly phoned the nearest hospital when he was unable to awaken the high-school student.

--bbbbbbb--

Ichigo silently paced back and forth in the room where his body lay on an operating table. Ryūken Ishida occasionally glanced in his direction, and if the Shinigami didn't know any better, he could swore he saw the corners of his lips draw back into a smirk.

'He knows!' Ichigo thought in anger. He contemplated drawing his zanpakutou and laying into the man, but the moment his hand wrapped around the hilt Ryūken gave the slightest shake of his head and pronounced the teenager dead by all accounts.

Ichigos face froze as the monitor flatlined and in moments his body was being wheeled out.

--bbbbbbb--

Several days later and Ichigo was attending his own funeral. The spiritially aware humans in attendance were mystified over how he could be standing so near to his own open casket yet be laying in said casket at the same time.

Rukia found it amusing to no end. His father, it would seem, was also in on the joke to some degree-- his eulogy was particular drawn out and made constant faux passes and double entendres regarding his son, hinting at directions Ichigo was heading in that ended up getting him killed in the end.

The straw that broke the espadas back, however, came when Isshin stared right at him for several seconds and _smiled knowingly_, obviously facing away from the majority of the crowd so no one else would know but Rukia, who was sitting in the right position.

Snarling, Ichigo dived right into his body and made to sit up. Only his body wouldn't respond. His eyes did not open, his fingers didn't twitch. He was shortly carried out to the graveyard and buried.

--bbbbbbb--

Once the crowd had cleared and Isshin sent his daughters home, he waited for Urahara to show up. "So, how does he like the new gigai I whipped up?" the eccentric inventor asked.

Isshin glanced at the fresh dirt, a smile tugging to be freed. "I'm sure he'll enjoy it once his spirit pressure equalizes and he figures out its not his real body. Of course, I'd hate to be you when that happens..." he trailed off.

Urahara spread his fan out before his face to conceal his own smirk. "I'm not worried. So when are you going to make the announcement?" he asked.

Isshin gave it a few moments thought. "How long before he gets free?" he asked in turn. Urahara considered it. "Hm.. several days, at the least." "Then you have your answer!" Isshin grinned and, sparing his sons grave one last glance, turned and headed for home.

Urahara turned and headed for his own shop, saying as he did so "Best April Fools I've ever had."

--bbbbbbb--

A/N: Credit for this one goes to X-elemental for the idea of someone finding Ichigos downed body! Thanks! Hope the theme wasn't too grim.


	4. Chapter 4

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Four: Hollownuts roasting over an open fire.

"_Wha_...! What in the.. world is that!?" Ichigo's voice startled voice demanded as two behemoth doors opened up behind the Hollow he had just slain. "It's Hell." Rukia answered shortly, arms crossed. In only a few moments she had described the process of cleansing sin with a Zanpakutou and how it could not remove the sin comitted in life.

As the doors flung open wide an intense heat escaped and a massive blade erupted out to pierce the Hollow in the middle of its chest, the hilt held in an equally massive tattooed hand. "_Well it's about time you sent another through!_" a pleasant tone called out.

"_Do you have any idea how long it's been since I was able to have a nice barbeque_?" the voice added, jiggling the Hollow up and down a few times to dislodge excess blood before drawing it in and dipping it into the flames and such out of sight. The Hollows screams arose and were briefly drowned out with the sound of something large dipping into a liquid of some sort.

"_Mmm_. _Far too long_,_ I'll have you know_!" the voice paused as the lone visible arm rotated, apparently flipping the Hollow over to the other side. A low hiss escaped it's boiling form."_So few of these fruitcakes get killed these days_. _Why_,_ the last time was eleven years ago_!" the rest of the form was obscured behind the strange yellow mist in the air of Hell.

Ichigo was in a stunned silence. How do you respond to that kind of thing? Rukia finally managed to find her voice as well and offered a squeeky reply. "... We slay them as we can."

The voice snorted. "_I highly doubt that_." by this point the doors had long since attempted to close, but another equally massive arm shot forward to block them. The other brought the Hollow up where its pale white skin could be seen now as jet black and charred. It's lone eye somehow remained and span in place to convey it's pain, voice gone.

"_Well_,_ it's been nice seeing a new face again_- _one I'm not going to eat_, _anyway_, _but this Hollow is about to faint and I do so savor them conscious_. _Good day_!" a sickening crunch echoed through before the gate way could shut again and vanish from sight.

Ichigo cringed and turned to Rukia. "Who in the hell is that, and why is he so pleasant?" Rukia could only shake her head.

--bbbbbbb--

A/N: I really couldn't think of anything while perusing the earlier chapters, so I glanced through the reviews. Credit for this chapter once more can be attributed to X-elemental in their suggestion about the Hell's gate, though I hope this twist on it is taken positively.


	5. Chapter 5

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Five: Inconvenient powerups.

"I guess I should end this now. Remember this before you die." Renji Abarai stated as he lifted his zanpakutou to the air over the downed Uryuu. "Abarai Renji! This is the name of the man that will kill you!" he swore, a dark smile on his face as swung it down. A low clang erupted as a thin and long black blade caught it a foot above Uryuus head.

Byakuyas eyes narrowed while Renji blinked rapidly several times in confusion. "Ichigo Kurosaki. This is the name of the man that will kill you!" the orange haired teenager stated flatly, looking up at Renji furiously. It didn't take much to understand that this was the human who stole Rukia's powers.

With anger burning to life in his eyes Renji knocked the sword aside and swung at Ichigo's head. For the most part Ichigo was knocked all over the place, gaining cuts and slices in his clothing, yet no blood was drawn for all the effort. As this continued over the next couple of minutes Renji's anger reached it's peak, and he finally released his shikai with the command of "Howl, Zabimaru!"

The longer blade flashed out in an instant to wrap around Ichigo's own and then twist once further to swing at his head.

"Guess I oughta get serious now..." Ichigo murmured and a moment later the pieces of Zabimaru were embedded in the ground all around them, landing dangerously close to the already blooded Uryuu. The Quincy looked up at him darkly. "Uh, sorry, Ishida. I'm still getting used to this speed." he stated with an embarrassed laugh.

"Is this... your shikai?" Byakuya asked sharply as Renji stared at the pieces of his blade in disbelief. Ichigo leaned his sword over one shoulder and frowned. "No." he stated flatly, eying the noble distastefully. A look of annoyance flashed through the Captains eyes as he drew his own zanpakutou and shunpoed forward to strike down the impenitent brat.

Before his eyes Ichigo vanished and reappeared at his back. "It's my _Bankai_!'

--bbbbbbb--

A/N: Thanks for the new reviews! Just a little idea of 'What if Ichigo was prepped for somebody in Soul Society coming to snag Rukia after her two month vacation?' the answer, of course, is early Bankai Training with Urahara! Since the Shinigami crossing over have to have their power restrained, but Ichigo doesn't, he takes the victory. The next take is in the works and might be a little more amusing.


	6. Chapter 6

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Six: Menos Reunion

"An inconceivable story... for that thing to come out..." Rukia paused, eyes wide with terror as she stared up at the gigantic mask and hands sticking out of a crack in the sky. "Those are under the jurisdiction of the elite forces...! Truly... a lone Shinigami cannot oppose it...!"

Before their eyes it finished tearing itself free to drop to the ground below with a tremendous quake, it's jaws opening up a fraction to draw in all of the remaining lower level Hollows around it.

In that moment of distraction, no one noticed the two silent figures that emerged from another gateway in the sky farther behind, falling to the ground with absolute quiet. Eyeballing the skyscraper sized Hollow, Byakuya sighed deeply and drew his zanpakutou. "Secure Rukia while I demonstrate the difference between our powers." he ordered in a tone of indignation.

Renji rolled his eyes. "Woof, woof." he murmured under his breath with a deep bow in the nobles direction. Byakuya shot him a dirty look, understanding the underlying sarcasm and message behind the response. "Shouldn't that have been 'ook, ook'?" he questioned flatly.

Renji straightened and scowled. "Just because my zanpakutou spirit is a baboon doesn't mean I'm going to act like one." he answered stiffly, fingering the hilt of his blade in agitation. Byakuya noticed the motion and his own eyebrows met in a frown, turning toward the other Shinigami.

"Would you care to go a round with your Captain, Lieutenant Abarai?" he asked, stance indicating it would be over very swiftly indeed should such an course of action be chosen. "Several, actually." Renji stated, drawn-on eyebrows also meeting as he gripped his hilt tightly.

Before either could go on any further, the Menos let out a terrible screech as a wave of spirit energy ran up the front left side of it's body and down the back, injuring it enough to send a retreat. Both Captain and Lieutenant turned toward the source and found the Menos retreating at the hands of an orange haired man with a soul-cutter so large it looked ridiculous- and left both Shinigami feeling a bit inadequate about their own weapons at the moment.

"Well well, what are you doing here?" came a calm voice from behind them as a hand slammed down on both of their shoulders and gripped tightly to keep them in place. Byakuya's head spun around so fast his neck cracked and his eyes nearly bugged out on taking in the sight of the escaped criminal Kisuke Urahara standing behind him, a malevolent gleam in his eyes and a thin smile with little mirth or humor on display.

"What do you think you're doing??!" Renji demanded, not recognizing the face or the danger they would both in. Kisuke tilted his head to the side in curiosity. "Why, greeting my fellow Shinigami!" he said happily, still firmly holding onto both of their shoulders. "Now, I believe there's a certain matter we need to discuss before you go any further."

--bbbbbbb--

After the two exited Urahara's shop several days later and pale as ghosts, the man himself appeared at the doorway to wave happily after them. "You're welcome back anytime!" he called, grinning darkly. Byakuya shuddered at the mans voice. "Never again will I cross Kisuke Urahara."

"Never again." Renji echoed, as the two of them opened up a portal back to Soul Society to falsely report both Rukia's and the Substitute Shinigami's apparent deaths.

--bbbbbbb--

A/N: Not much to say here, really. Both Byakuya and Renji arrived to handle the Menos as well as round up Rukia for execution, but things went astray. Just what Urahara did to them in that week to convince them to behave and make that false report will be left to your imagination, though. _Thanks for the suggestion, Goku's Daughter :) Corrected._


	7. Chapter 7

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Seven: Split-personalities.

"If you don't find it before this world decay's completely... then you will become a Hollow!" Zangetsu's voice warned Ichigo Kurosaki just before he sank into a pool of water, the two iside the collapsing inner-world of Ichigo's mind and soul. Swimming in the water he had sunk beneath, Ichigo struggled to find which among the boxes that had appeared therein he needed to open.

With barely any time left he recalled Uryuu's words and managed to visualize the many spirit threads in the area- including the distinct red one that would lead back to his zanpakutou. All around him the world was falling apart, and Zangetsu crouched just above and behind the Human-turned-Shinigami.

Tearing open the lid of the box to see a swords hilt erupt from it, Ichigo stared in confusion for a second too long. "What are you doing! It's collapsing! Hurry up and pull me out!" Zangetsu shouted in warning. Just as Ichigo's hand wrapped around the hilt everything faded to white.

--bbbbbbb--

"_Destroy him before he becomes a Hollow_!" Tessai's voice shouted, echoing off the shattered shafts walls. Urahara sighed and shunpo'ed down, a small object in hand. With a surgeons precision he sliced the bandages around the completed mask over Ichigo's face and shoved the object through the gaping jaws and down the throat.

Tessai blinked and raised a barrier of reiatsu before himself as Urahara crossed his arms and waited. A flash of blinding white light erupted from behind the eye-sockets of the mask as a flare of spirit energy erupted all the way up the shaft, generating white mist as it super heated the air briefly and almost right away cooled back down.

"_Ow_**.**" a duo of voices chorused together. Urahara batted aside the mist with his ever-present fan and, much to his surprise, saw his idea had worked- _and then some_. Two different Ichigo Kurosaki's lay on the ground in various states of discomfort, held together by the bandages Tessai had whipped up with Kido.

One was garbed in the typical Shinigami robes. The second, however, was a perfect copy and white&black introvert of the first. The shattered remains of a hollows mask littered the ground around the two of them, and even before their very eyes it broke apart further into raw spirit energy and vanished.

"H-.. how is this... possible?" Tessai questioned shakily, looking the two different figures over in discomfort and surprise.

Urahara shrugged. "I'd always wondered what happened when you shoved a mod-pill down a plus-becoming-hollows throat. As we can see, based off of my thesis, you warp the process and split it in twain. _Kon_? _Ichigo_?" He questioned. The introverted copy moaned and turned black and yellow eyes on the exiled Captain. "_What_?" he demanded in a snarky tone. The other grunted and raised his head to repeat his off-colored duplicates response in an equally aggravated tone.

"Henh." smiling, the eccentric man split the bandages apart and the two rolled apart, eying one another distastefully. "What happened to my body?" Ichigo demanded. Urahara pointed at the white haired duplicate. Ichigo looked at it in mildly rising horror. "Oh, I'm sure it'll return to natural tones once you're back in it. However, just to be sure and verify everything worked out..." trailing off with a demented smile plastered to his face and a dreadful gleam in his eyes, Kisuke Urahara placed a hand on either's shoulder.

--bbbbbbb--

A/N: Originally Ichigo was going to become a Hollow and get snatched by Aizen, which became having a mod-pill shoved down the full-Hollows gaping jaws, and finally evolved to the current form. Essentially would have taken over since Ichigo moved too slowly but, Hollow Ichigos grasp on the body is broken by Kon- leaving the hollows form represented but Kon's personality, while Ichigo regains his Shinigami powers in all their glory.


	8. Chapter 8

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Eight: Union of a family.

Panting, bleeding, and facing one of the toughest hollows he had yet encountered, Ichigo Kurosaki leveled a glare on the natural shinigami up the hill. "You stay out of this!" he ordered her, as Grand Fisher laughed at his idiocy and shot forward again.

Ichigo growled and rushed forward, slashing his sword through the air and nicking Fishers right leg. The furry beast kicked him in the back for it as it passed and threw the teenager into a tree.

Landing on all fours and turning back to face him, the hollow mocked Ichigo. "I've been killin' for fifty years now, son. What makes you think an up-start like you can finish me off with that toothpick o' yours?" Grand Fisher bellowed in laughter as Ichigo pushed up on one hand, then used his grip of his Zanpakutou to help him further to both knees.

"Tha's a perfect pose right there, son! Just stay on your knees and die-- but I hope you enjoy the sight o' your lovely mother as you bleed out!" he taunted as the lure hanging out of his head shifted and changed to represent Masaki, a moment before he leaped forward.

'I.. can not.. move...' Ichigo thought slowly, clenching his sword tightly to keep upright, fury burning through his veins at the hollows words. An odd thud broke into this thoughts as a high voice yelled in anger and Grand Fishers body slammed into the dirt and skidded a couple dozen feet to Ichigo's left.

Kon, in Ichigo's body, landed lightly on his feet with the right foot outstretched. "C'mon, Ichigo! I wanna get back to snuggling nee-san! Get up and slay the hollow already!" he whined. 'Kon!?' unable to turn far for the pain lancing through his back muscles Ichigo was able to crane his neck enough to see that the mod-soul was indeed standing guard near his back.

"Kon! He can't move!" Rukia's voice called down from the hill side. "Aw, maaaaaaaan!" with a grunt Grand Fisher pushed to his feet and spun around sharply, a crack in his mask from where Kons kick had landed. "You... you... I'm going to fillet you!" the hollow snarled. Never before had it's mask been damaged.

"Oh?" inquired a new voice from behind Fisher. The hollow lashed out with a hind leg on reflex and felt the air woosh as the figure dodged with shunpo. "Ichigo... you really took some damage, huh?" Isshin asked without a hint of seriousness as he appeared beside his son, crouched down in a shinigami's outfit. 'DAD!?!' Ichigo's mind took in the clothing and sword hung over one shoulder and all but flat-lined. He had to have taken too many blows and was hallucinating. There wasn't any other logical answer-- how could his father be a shinigami!?

Fisher hissed and Isshin looked over one shoulder. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Masaki dangling off the lure. "Kon?" Isshin asked. The mod-soul turned to look at him. "Yeah??" he questioned. "Do me a favor." slowly pushing to his feet and turning from Ichigo, Isshin drew his blade. "Come over to me once I cut it's lure off."

"Uh... okay?" he agreed in confusion. Fishers eyes roamed between the lot of them. Three shinigami, two all but useless, and a mod-soul unless he was mistaking the orange haired duplicate for a twin. The super-powered kick mostly ruled out of the latter. And it was fast to intercept him like that, even without shunpo.

'Enough measuring the odds! I'll fillet them all!' taking motion again he leaped into the air with his claws extending rapidly and came down at the easier weak point, the girl up the hill. He was intercepted with a sword slicing cleaning through his lure an instant before another kick nearly smashed his mask in and left him tumbling down into the dirt again, only this time he crashed and rolled right up to Ichigo.

And into Zangetsu, as the teenagers head snapped around with a look akin to insanity in his eyes behind a burning desire to protect once again re-awoken. The insanity, for the most part, came from concluding that he had a lot of questions to ask once this battle was over and thereby accepting that his father was a shinigami as well.

What energy he had left propelled his body around at the waist and driving his zanpakutou through the crack already in place straight out the back of its head. The hollow choked and a moment later blood erupted from several other holes in its back side where Isshin had cut it before working up to the lure.

Panting, gasping in agony, Fisher was about to die and in those final seconds wanted to warp to the other body. All hope that had of going though vanished when Kon had approached Isshin.

The older shinigami was on his knees and holding the wreckage of the lure, eyes closed tightly to keep the tears in. Kon stared at him sadly as he scrapped pieces of the body off his shoes and finally looked over to the still stunned Rukia and exhausted Ichigo.

Fisher died at the hands of the Kurosaki men.

Masaki's spirit had been avenged.

--bbbbbbb--

A/N: Bleach One Shots! The movie-length chapter! Feels like it, any way. This wasn't planned to be so long but it just kept going as I brought in Kon and then Isshin.


	9. Chapter 9

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Nine: Kanonji Revisions.

Ichigo sighed again. "...Hey." glancing over the guard rail nearby the teenager rose to his feet fully. "Put those tears away, _hero_." turning back toward Kanonji a faint smile appeared on his face. "Everyone is waving."

The man slowly picked himself up as the pale echo of voices reached his ears. Almost stumbling forward he looked down upon the masses in silence.

"What's wrong? Answer them; isn't that a heroes duty?" Ichigo questioned. Pausing to swallow the lump in his throat, the result slowly slipped past Kanonji's lips as he crossed his arms loosely before his chest, and down below the crowd roared in imitation right back in pleasure.

"..." another pause as though doubting what to say, before "Boy... _thank you_. And.. it was a superb battle." turning toward him Kanonji continued with building speed. "I.. give you my respect, for your courage, quick-wittedness, and strength." stepping forward he brought up one hand. "From this time fourth, _please lend me your hand_."

Reluctantly Ichigo brought his own up. "Sure... every once in a while, I guess." he answered slowly as they shook.

"Thank you..."

* * *

A short time later and Kanonji was still on top of the roof, though now leaning against the guard rail almost haphazardly. In the shadows a flicker of activity grew before a shinigami in white robes stepped forward. "It's time to go." her voice spoke quietly.

Kanonji stiffened and closed his eyes. "_Kirio_.." he whispered as certain triggers left behind activated and a different set of memories flowed forward. After several long seconds he exhaled sharply. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?" he asked her equally quietly if without emotion.

"_Yes_, it has." she responded in the same tone without stopping in her motions forward. A low sigh escaped him.

"You've watched over this world for long enough; Soul Society needs watch too." she stated with a hint of disapproval displayed.

Kanonji nodded silently and pushed off from the rail, turning toward her. "It's a shame this gigai malfunctioned- or maybe this was how I wanted to live when I decided to come here so long ago." he mused.

"You wanted to be free of the burden." she answered. He glanced sharply at her without disagreeing before looking over and down at the humans striding about on the street below.

"I believe this is the last time I'll look out on the world from such a vantage point." he noted sadly. "Once I'm in _the chair_ again. Once we're back home. It'll all seem so far away and... _pointless._" shaking his head as he remembered why he left the Royal Dimension behind a little over a hundred years ago, he strode toward the shadows where she had emerged from without waiting any longer.

"... That boy can take care of things here while I'm gone. He promised to, and I believe in him." he stated. "You were right to awaken me again, Kirio. It _is_ time the Spirit King returned."

* * *

a/n: So, yeah. Slight revision cut out some filler I had planned in the beginning for a little exposition on insights and stuff. Didn't really go anywhere useful so I junked it. Anyhow: Someone on a forum I visit mentioned the irony if Kononji turned out to be the Spirit King in disguise, thus this chapter was born of it.


	10. Chapter 10

Bleach One Shots

The early mistakes.

Take Ten: A little of this, a little of that.

It had been many years since Kurosaki Ichigo had become a shinigami, slaying untold hordes of Hollows of every kind and state of evolution, defeating many of his fellow spirit reapers in combat to earn his position, but it was only _now_ that he would learn who the Spirit King truly was after all of the mysteries surrounding him.

Zero Squad members flocked him at either side by the dozens; after all, his reputation for rebelling against Soul Societies rules and regulations was legendary. What would he do if he disagreed with whom was responsible for creating it all?

-bbbbbbb-

"What the hell?" his voice was still the same as ever despite the decades since his youth and Ichigo couldn't keep his surprise or dismay from it as he finished descending through the ridiculously long hall leading into the throne room.

Sitting in several marble chairs with arching backs pressed together in a semi-circle were a group people he knew very well, though they had died at some point- or so he was told. Zaraki Kenpachi was the first he noted, and the giant of a shinigami grinned widely at the sight of him in turn but said nothing.

Gin Ichimaru was seated next to him, a friendly expression on his features this time, and beside him was Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez looking bored as ever. The next few looked equally out of place though he did not recognize them from his personal history.

"Seriously, what the hell is going on here?" Ichigo demanded as the multitude of Zero Squad members spread out around the large open throne room.

"Calm down." another voice he recognized pitched in from the furthest seat from the entrance and Urahara Kisuke slowly rose from it to approach him, no sign of his usual goofy attitude in sight. "Maybe you'll still remember it, but Aizen once said that the Kings throne was empty up here, yes?" he asked.

Ichigo warily nodded his head as Urahara threw one arm around his shoulders and began walking the younger shinigami around to the empty seat. "Well, he was right in a way. The Spirit King used to rule from here a long while back until he got sick of watching his creations from afar... see where this is going yet?" Urahara asked carefully.

"... Um, no." Ichigo stated honestly. Urahara gave him a considering eye as they came to the seat and paused.

"Okaaay, well. To sum it up, the main aspects of the Spirit Kings soul were cautiously split apart in the most defining characteristics he was longing for and sent down into Soul Society and Earth to work themselves out." he explained while the orange haired man listened.

"A dangerous, stupid, but highly enjoyable experiment if I do say so myself." Urahara added.

"So does that mean..." Ichigo trailed off as he looked back toward the others and then at the shinigami he thought he had known so well before.

"_Yes_!" Urahara agreed happily. "Zaraki embodies his_ recklessness_. Grimmjow his _determination_, Gin his _desires_." he explained and pointed out that the other three were the Spirit King's _kindness_, _creativity_, and_ honor_.

"So what does that make _you_?" Ichigo asked curiously.

Urahara looked confused as he asked, "_Me_? Oh no, no, I'm merely the Captain of the Zero Squad, _your highness_." and with that he pushed Ichigo backwards into the seventh seat. The younger mans startled expression vanished along with the looks on the others as a barrier of kido burned to life in the air around them and became solid and opaque.

Several minutes later and it faded, revealing that the marble seats had merged together into a single heavy throne with a single occupant within it, features muted and hair darkened to black with five o'clock shadow in place.

The Spirit King reached up to run a hand over his face in quiet testing, and finding everything in place nodded in satisfaction. "And of course, Kurosaki Ichigo embodied your _potential_, your highness." Urahara answered the open-ended question from before.

"Hnph." drawing a pair of bright orange sunglasses over his face from the spirit particles in the air Zangetsu leaned into the throne and let out a tired yawn. "It is good to be whole again." he said aloud. Zero Squad saluted proudly.

"I think it is high time we taught Aizen who the King truly is. I'm in the mood to slay an immortal."

-bbbbbbb-

A/N: Weird how the mind works late at time with no sleep. Just thought it would be amusing if the Spirit King was actually several people in disguise over the course of the series and tried to figure out who fit that best. Hope y'all enjoyed it.


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